alright, fine, I’m depressed

I’m calling it. This funk isn’t just winter blues combined with political bullshit anxiety… it’s depression with a lowercase d. Not to be confused with Depression, the bigger downer that happens to me occasionally. But we’re definitely riding out this roller coaster right now and tightening down the safety nets (daily walks, eating actual meals with veggies, sitting in the car on sunny days baking in the light like a plant in a greenhouse, etc) in an attempt to mitigate damage and prevent the little d turning into a big D.

Part of this mitigation strategy includes easy win art pieces. Instead of beating myself up about how I should draw something but don’t feel motivated at all, I found an old prompt list on Pinterest and drew myself up a 28 day grid of 1.5″ squares. Every day I’m aiming to do at least something small art-wise, and if I still feel like creating more than that, great. If not, I’m not beating myself up all day about how I “should” have spent my time like I am prone to doing. There is also no beating myself up about how good or bad the drawings are – pencil to paper (or, in the cases pictured above, brush to paper) is better than nothing.

I debated on starting some sort of visual journal as a way to get art practice in while simultaneously doing some feelings processing. But what is there to draw and write about when you don’t even leave the house on your days off, or change out of your pajamas? What am I going to draw and write about? How I moved from laying on the couch under my heated throw blanket to laying in the bed to stare at my phone to try to take my mind off all the things I should be doing instead of being depressed?